One, just one, of the most surprising aspects of this disease (Alzheimer’s, if you are new here), is how isolating it is. I have worked very hard, for the last 3 years, to prepare for our inevitable future. Financially, legally, physically, emotionally, I’ve tried to cover all our bases, in advance of what is coming. One thing I didn’t consider, because I would never have believed it, was how fast, after diagnosis, family, friends, and neighbors would disappear!
I really thought “my people” would step up and help me with him. You know, like people do when you have an accident, or death in the family, or any other type of illness (Cancer). You know, people come to visit, bring meals, offer to drive you to appointments, Nope. Not happening. Best case scenario – Prayers. For which I am grateful. I believe in prayer. I believe in God. Not sure I believe in miracles. And that’s what friends should be praying for, on my behalf. Because there is no cure for what has happened to my sweet husband. There is no future for him, or me.
Family members are sympathetic, and will occasionally ask after my husband. “How’s he doing? (In relation to what?) Neighbors can be called on, but, that can be over used if you are not careful. Most disappointing, for me, has been friends reactions. Doug’s best friend, in the world, for 50 years, as gone absolutely silent. No phone calls, visits, nothing. My friends, because I can’t go out with them and socialize, have stopped calling. Any interaction with them, results in “I’m praying for you”. Which, again, I appreciate. But, hey, what about, call sometime and let me vent?
My “best friend” pretty much summed it up for me.
No one understands or knows how to help. She said, “I love you, but….”.
Welcome to My World 